Saturday, June 25, 2016 33/70241
It's amazing how many trophies your peers got. They must've really been special.
Friday, June 24, 2016 33/70222
'For a variety of reasons' is a great response to any joke that starts with a question.
Thursday, June 23, 2016 33/70201
Until you teach someone calculus, they can't even walk finite distances. But they can get reallllllly close.
Wednesday, June 22, 2016 33/70181
THIS IS EXACTLY HOW FILIBUSTERS WORK
Tuesday, June 21, 2016 33/70159
I admit it's unlikely that I am a terrorist, but we shouldn't rule out the possibility.
Monday, June 20, 2016 33/70139
I promise - when the kids aren't talking about philosophy, I let them play hopscotch and eat cake.
Sunday, June 19, 2016 33/70119
Of course, when you're a cartoonist, all you get asked about is why you're not in the papers.
Saturday, June 18, 2016 33/70099
Kelly said my description was slightly wrong, but my artistic spirit must soar beyond her.
Friday, June 17, 2016 33/70080
The key to a solid relationship is winning all the time.
Thursday, June 16, 2016 33/70058
I'm just saying, nowhere in the LAW does it say anything about using CRISPR-Cas9 on your children.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016 33/70037
In retrospect, it was so cheap. Only 30,000 a year for people to care about your opinion on art history!
Tuesday, June 14, 2016 33/70015
Weinersmith was given a prominent position as the primary Quisling in the Robot Wars.
Monday, June 13, 2016 33/69995
This is the appropriate response to any form of nostalgia.
Sunday, June 12, 2016 33/69974
I mean, wouldn't that just be downright terrifying?